For A Reason, For A Season
Look back at 2016. First off, everyone seems to be complaining about the year. Whether it had to do with the US Presidential Elections or Kanye West’s stint in the looney bin and every dismal happening in between, there are few of us who can say, “Hell yeah. 2016 was awesome.” I know for sure that mine wasn’t. If I am being honest with myself, it mostly has to do with how I planned out my year. Or lack of planning thereof. But there were moments where I can say for sure that some of the sh*t I’ve been through had to do with having certain people in my life. Maybe their influence, their presence or their interference were blocks to an otherwise smoother flow of how I chose to live my life.
But now that 2017 is here, there are changes I have to make. It’s high time. So, with a spirit of gratitude that is so essential to progress, and balls to make things happen, I move into the new year taking the lessons I’ve learnt and yes, dropping those out of my life who no longer serve a positive purpose. If there is anything that 2016 taught me, it is that it is time to let it go and treasure those who are here to stay. Since I love sharing my experiences with the world, here is me also sharing why you need to let go of certain relationships in 2017 –
Things are not the same anymore
In the beginning, the relationship was ripe. There was life to it and you thrived from being with that person. It happens. It’s like the shiny new toy – at first, you want to hold it all the time, play and spend time with it. But it grows old. Most importantly, you grow up. Things and relationships that once were important to your life are no longer of as much value as they used to be. Instead of desperately holding on to dead weight, it’s probably time to let you. Your spirit will lift higher with the release.
There’s no trust, no loyalty
Whether it is a business relationship or something personal, every relationship needs to be built on trust and loyalty. You need to make sure that when you turn your back, no one is b*tching and no one is stabbing. Such qualities are hard to come by, but if it’s not there in the first place, there’s no use being with someone you have to hide things from. It’s either all in or all out. Remember in the new year to only forge bonds with those who have your back and that you have theirs in return.
You’re unsure of how things stand
Have you been in a relationship where you’re not sure if you’re the standby friend, the last resort or the special person to be thought of first thing in the morning and the last at night? If there is any doubt, there are two things you can do: confront it – ask the person what your worth is to them OR walk away – in true relationships, you should never have to doubt. You should never find yourself forcing something to happen, because that is not part of the abundance of the universe.
It is damaging you
Do you find yourself doing, saying or being something you’re not? Many of us just stick around because of the comfort level or because we feel insecure that we don’t have another place to go. If you find your self-esteem being diminished, you are doing all the work in the relationship, or you longer recognize yourself in the metaphorical mirror, guess what?! It’s time to let go and move on. You want to be lifted up, not beaten down.
You don’t see eye to eye
Experts say that one of the biggest secrets to a blissful married life is when you share the same values. Whether it’s a partnership or someone you’re hanging with, you want to surround yourself with people who believe the same way you do. For example, if you’re one who respects everyone for who they are, but your friends crack racist jokes and pass sexist comments, you just cannot be around such people. It’s simple: be around those who have similar opinions and respect yours as well.
You don’t get what you need
This is not about you being selfish. It’s about living a fulfilled life. Before you call someone your “BFF” or “soul mate” or all those other phrases being thrown around so callously these days, ask yourself what you want to achieve from this relationship. Are you looking to gain a confidante? Then you shouldn’t be mingling with a gossip. Do you want someone to help you with your sobriety? Then you shouldn’t chill with those who get high to pass time. Are you looking to improve your overall life? Then you shouldn’t be around slackers. Living a life of purpose will attract to you what you genuinely and truly are looking for.