Whether you like it or not, regular life dictates that you need to converse with other human beings. If you’re an introvert or anti-social person, then this can be hard. Even though you might shop online, order takeout, keep your contact list as short as possible and only respond through text and email, there will come a time when you will have to open your mouth and actually speak to someone.
All of us are born with this inbred characteristic of wanting to be liked. That’s why most of us keep our sarcastic comments and murderous thoughts in our heads – because civility is needed in this insane society! Anyway, if you want the other person to respond to you positively (of course you do! Why would you not?!) then take this easy-to-do list with you on How To Get People To Like You (Even If You Don’t Like Them!):
Don’t you automatically like a person when they seem to accept just as you are, weirdness and all?! When someone meets you for the first time, they are mostly concerned about impressing you, not the other way round. So, instead of fiddling with ideas on how to be attractive to them, you need to concentrate on appearing to be accepting of who they are! Even if they have beliefs that go against yours, you can keep your opinions to yourself and nod in approval and compliment them on some ideas they are putting across. Believe it or not, they will definitely start thinking that they already like you!
Most of us want to appear intelligent and well-read when we first meet someone else. If each of us has this intention, who exactly is left to just listen to the other person? That person should be you! They say that words are silver, but SILENCE is golden (or something to that effect). When you listen to someone, they automatically think that you are personally interested in them, and that makes them like you! So, for once, stop talking and start listening and you will gain more with the zipping of the lips.
There is nothing more uncomfortable than silence between conversations. You may find that the other person either talks extra to fill in the gaps, or begins to get attracted to other things like the couple at the next time or worst still, their phone. Since you will be practicing the previous point, you will by now know the interest in certain topics that the other person has. So, direct the conversation that way. Make it flow smoothly, picking interesting things to say and giving a chance for the other one to join in as well. There is something highly likeable about a good conversationalist.
Imagine if you’re talking passionately about some latest thing you came across, and the other one has their “resting bitch face” on. No one wants to talk to a Kanye, because you can’t understand if they are interested, bored or their mind has wandered somewhere else altogether. When you smile, it is the silent language that suggests that you are focusing and approving of what is being said. The other person will feel encouraged to speak and motivated because you are making an effort to get to know them better.
How To Win Friends And Influence People
If you find yourself in doubt on how to behave around another human being (like if you just came out of a cave or binge watched Netflix too much), then keep Dale Carnegie’s bestseller, How To Win Friends And Influence People in handy. That man knew what he was talking about and went on become a millionaire several times over because he mastered the art of conversation. He gives the simplest of tips and will go down in history as one of the most liked men. Why? Because he followed precisely the tips in his own book.