Annoying Things People Say To Singles

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Single? Not ready to mingle? It’s all good when we make this decision for ourselves. However, the struggle is real when it comes to conveying our independence and singularity to the world. When we say we’re “single”, what the other person is hearing is something like: I’m alone and desperate for company. It’s yet to get into people’s heads that maybe, just maybe, we are happy having all our time to ourselves. And no, we aren’t adopting cats anytime soon to fill this so-called void. Here are the most common annoying things people say to singles:

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Are you seriously single?

This question, followed by, “I can’t believe it!” Especially if you’re somewhat of an attractive, successful person, people will look at you funny. In their heads, what they’re really thinking is, “Maybe something is wrong with this person, and that’s why no one will date him/her.” Or, they presume that you’re picky. And a snob. It’s like being single is somehow abnormal on this planet.

You know, I have this friend…

Here’s the thing – you have a “friend”? Good for you. If you’re really my friend, you will know to respect my decisions and not try and hook me up on a blind date with Sally from work or the single loser brother of someone’s sister-in-law. They feel you’re single because no one will go out with you, and somehow this loneliness has put you in a secret craving of going to dinner with a complete stranger.

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So, you’re down for a one night stand?

Just because you don’t have a significant other to do the deed with, people presume that you’re not getting any and that you want some. Either some douche from the bar will try and liquor you up, or a friend will take the chance to get into this “friends with benefits” deal with you. When you’re single and if you say, “Netflix & Chill”, you really mean Netflix binge watching and chilling on Instagram after that. No innuendos with anyone’s end-o (ok, kinda stole that from Two And A Half Men).

Do you have to be so high maintenance?

Uh, FYI, I am single because I want to be. It has nothing to do with me being extra selective with who I share my mind and bed with. And even if I am choosy, it’s my life, dammit! Look at Cameron Diaz – she waited till past 40 to tie the knot. Let’s not forget George Clooney – he was what, 50 or 60 when he married that fancy-shmancy lawyer. Have a seat.

Don’t you feel lonely?

This question will be asked by those who go around pretending to be caring, when all they want is to feel better about their own failing relationships. Yes, sometimes I feel lonely, especially when I have no one to go to a theatre with or sit at the beach and gaze at the stars. But you know what? I’d rather wait a thousand lifetimes for my soulmate, than get entangled with someone I’m not truly blissed-out happy with. So there.

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